Be happy when you can.

Emailed my revisions to my editor last night - a great feeling. That is, if I can ignore the niggly voice in my head saying will she like them? did I do it right? not too much? not enough? yada, yada, yada. Sometimes it's so hard to unreservedly celebrate the steps along the way. So today, I'm telling the voices "I did a great job" and if my editor wants any further changes, she'll let me know. Be happy. Life is too short to be second guessing everyone including yourself. Live in the moment.

Dancing on the ceiling

I'm finally coming back down to earth after a trip to San Francisco for the RWA National conference. It was a fabulous conference with a terrific line up of speakers and workshops. It's always wonderful to spend time with people who are passionate about romance and to catch up with friends old and new. But without a doubt the highlight was SELLING one of my books.

My Call was totally unexpected. I'd recently won a critique by Melissa Jeglinski the then head of Desire and duly sent my manuscript off. I hadn't thought the manuscript was what they were looking for but I really wanted that critique. A mere 4 weeks later (a very short time in this business), while in my hotel bathroom after taking a shower, my roommate the wonderful Tessa Radley, starts pounding on the door. She'd been talking to Diana Ventimiglia at Desire who told her she wanted to call me. And several hyperventillation-filled minutes later (and after some very quick dressing) she did indeed call. And wonder or wonders she said she wanted to buy my book.

It was amazing to recieve the call at conference and to have so many people on hand to share the news with.

Now, a month or so later, I'm working away and smiling to myself in the knowlege that real people out there in the real world can one day read (and hopefully like) what I'm writing, and what's more I'm going to get paid!

Georgette Heyer Festival

I've been having my own private Georgette Heyer festival. Have read two new ones and two old favourites. I thoroughly enjoyed the two new ones, Cotillion and Black Sheep but Black Sheep was my favourite. I preferred its more concentrated focus on the the hero and heroine. And I do so like the older hero and heroine, neither of whom were looking for love. So that what you end up with is a real meeting of the minds - two people who realise they've finally found that one other who truly understands them, and so therefore who they can truly be themselves with. And the other thing about this type of historical that I really like is because there's no sex, scarcely anying kissing or touching, the attraction is shown very much at that inner level.

The re-reads were Devil's Cub and The Grand Sophy. Got to love them. Georgette Heyer is so wonderfully sharp in her characterisation and her dialogue.

Double meanings

This one bothered me. Virago.

Every day I get sent a 'word of the day' from dictionary.com. Sometimes they're words I've never heard of and know I'll never use. Sometimes they're words I already know and use. And sometimes there's a new spin on a word I wasn't aware of. Take the two meanings of virago:
1. A woman of extraordinary stature, strength, and courage.
2. A woman regarded as loud, scolding, ill-tempered, quarrelsome, or overbearing.

At times like this I wish I was as articulate and insightful as Jenny Crusie - unfortunately I'm not. But I think it's sad and probably not all that unusual that a word that first meant a strong woman came to have the more common meaning of overbearing and quarrelsome. It's surely some kind of indictment on how women were "supposed" to be percieved, and that if they stepped out of that feminine, possibly subservient role they came to be regarded negatively by men, and perhaps even other women.

Anyway, let me state here that I wish to be a virago-strong and courageous. And I can do that whilst being kind and gentle.

no coffee

Easter's over, loved catching up with family, loved the Easter Eggs and the hot cross buns. Back to work now. But we seem to have run out of coffee, and though I would strenuously deny being addicted - I only have one cup a day after all - it is time for that one cup and I'd really like it. Or are thoughts of jumping in the car and shooting the nearest cafe just ways to delay starting writing? Just like the checking of unofficial Golden Heart and Rita lists is. I did it once, (made the GH) so in theory I can do it again. But sadly, time is ticking on and I'm thinking I might have to face the facts on this one. Can't even console myself with Abby, Karina or Tessa making it through on the RITAs because no phone calls there either. Yet. Must check the world clock and see what time it is in Houston. Really, it's not procrastination.

Crisis of Confidence

I have revisions to do. That's both terrific and terrifying. If I nail the revisions it could lead to a sale, but I'm quaking in my boots at the thought of getting it wrong. So, lots of deep breaths, all I can do is write the best story I can. I have to put aside the what ifs and get in touch with my characters, they need my help after all, and write!

Backing myself (or is it faking it)?

One of the other things that's landed on my plate is the chance to do some freelance articles. Now, I've done a little (think very) freelance work before but it was research based. This next thing involves interviewing someone. And I happen to know from her website that one of the tennets of what she does revolves around thought processes and creating your own reality with your thoughts. So, I have to give myself permission to think of myself as posessing the necessary skills - which when put like that isn't too hard. I know I can write, I'm interested in the work she does and have a lot of questions I want to ask her. Voila - I have what it takes (though I'm not sure what to wear).

It probably applies to writing too. If I think of myself as a publishable and published writer I will work more like one. And so....it's off to work I go.

It doesn't rain...

In the middle of trying to get two manuscripts ready for entry into The Clendon award. RWNZ's full manuscript contest. Realising now that I should have worked much, much harder over the summer break. And, as is always the way, I have lots of other stuff landing on my plate at the same time. Some of it's good, exciting stuff though, so got to be happy with that. Have to hope that deadline pressure makes me infinitely more productive.

February - aargh

Christmas over, New Year's done and dusted, and Jan 08 gone forever. Better crack on with February. The good news is I placed in the GOTCHA contest and get an editor read as the prize - Yay. Of course now I have to revist the entry and make sure it's as perfect as I can get it. Which, with all the second guessing I like to do - will the editor like this bit? will she get my sense of humour? etc etc can tie me up in knots. But I'll try to be true to myself and my story, it got me this far after all.

And while on vacation I had an idea for the I (Heart) Presents contest. So need to get that 1st chapter written and then figure out a plausible synopsis and entered before the 14th. And then by the end of Feb I plan to have two complete manuscripts entered in The Clendon (RWNZ's full manuscript contest). Hmm. Maybe I shouldn't have taken it quite so easy over January.